Yesterday my oldest was playing songs for my 3 year old from her I Pod. She came across a Justin Bieber song and asked him if he wanted to listen to it. In response he exclaimed, "KoKo loves Justin Bieber. That's Koko's song!"
The room fell silent as we waited for for my little boy to inquire further about her absence.........He didn't.
I wondered what that meant. Obviously he hasn't forgotten her, but has he really excepted that she's not coming back?
It saddens me to know that he will grow up without her, and by the time he's old enough to fully understand, his memories of her will be comprised mostly of photographs and videos.
Photographs and videos. I realize even more now how important it is to log our lives in some form or fashion, and I kick myself not only for the times the video camera wasn't charged, but also for the fact that the picture quality of my phone is shitty unless the lighting is perfect. Which is not often.
Uwakokunre's 9 year old birthday was about a week after she got out of the hospital with a bout of pneumonia. I planned a surprise party for her to come home to after school. There were pink balloons and pink streamers everywhere on the first floor of mommy's house. I got a gorgeous princess tiara with blinking lights to put in the birthday girls' hair and if I remember correctly I found a Hannah Montana Mylar balloon. I remember looking for my video camera so I can get her reaction and record this celebration of the day she was born, but for the life of me I couldn't find it anywhere!
Everything was ready before her bus pulled up and all of her cousins had gotten here just in time.
Our timing was actually perfect!
When Koko came through the door and she saw everyone screaming "SURPRISE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" the look on her face was priceless! Her jaw looked like it dropped even though her mouth was still closed. Her eyes were stuck so wide open I had to ask her was she okay. Lol!
She stayed silent looking around the room for a good 20 seconds before she finally said "This is my birthday party mommy?" "Yes daughter, happy birthday. You're 9!" I said in reply. Koko dropped her head to one side laughing and blushing in excitement as I kissed her on the cheek.
I gave up looking for the camera about half way through the party thinking, 'no matter. Next year is gonna be bigger and better anyway, I'll definitely record it then'.
How wrong was I................
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